How to identify the gender of a fly???

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.


Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

                           Health facts

♦Don't drink tea - Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid
This substance will cause the Protein content in the food we consume to be hardened thus difficult to digest  ♦Don't eat fruits immediately - Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Therefore take fruit 1-2 hr after meal or 1hr before meal
♦Don't loosen your belt - Loosening the belt after a meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted & blocked ♦,Don't bathe - Bathing will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands legs & body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore
decrease. This will weaken the digestive system in our stomach

       Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." 

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Thats what 911 is there for...

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic? Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

[end

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

[end